"LEARNING TO BE A MODEL PARENT"
Luke 1:30-38
Posted May 2, 2001
Perhaps the importance of parenthood, the job of being a mother or father
can be summed up with this familiar piece of verse:
"If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in
the world."
Today is Mother's Day, and mothers probably have more influence on us than
anyone else.
"Dr. G. Campbell Morgan (famous Bible teacher from another generation) had
four sons. They all became ministers. At a family reunion a friend asked one
of the sons, 'Which Morgan is the greatest preacher?"
While the son looked at the father, he replied 'Mother!'"
"Picture an old woman with a halo of silvered hair-the hot tears flowing
down her furrowed cheeks- her worn hands busy over a washboard in a room of
poverty-praying-praying for her son John- John who ran away from home in his
teens to become a sailor- John, of whom it was now reported that he had
become a very wicked man- praying always, that her son might be of service
to God. The mother believed in two things, the power of prayer and the
reformation of her son. God answered the prayer by working a miracle in the
heart of John Newton. John Newton, preacher and author of the song, 'Amazing
Grace'".
Mother, no matter how old or young your children are, you would like to be a
good mom. Fathers, no matter how old or young your children are, you want
to be a good dad. Children and teens, if you think about it, you would
probably like to be a good parent some day.
How do we become good parents? One of the ways we do this is by having good
role models- those who set good examples, those we can imitate as parents.
In fact, God encourages older women to be good teachers and models for
younger women.
Titus 2:3-5 - "The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh
holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good
things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their
husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not
blasphemed."
The church is always a good place to look for models of good parenting. For
us, in some of the important years of parenting we had a couple named Ed and
Janet Apgar who had children just a few years older than our children. How
they handled their children was a pattern for us. From them, we learned how
to handle our children.
The best place to find models for good parenthood is, of course, the Word of
God.
Today I would like us to look at a model parent found in the Gospels. Her
name is Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Although Mary was just another person like you and me, she did demonstrate
some characteristics which mothers and fathers should imitate. If you are
not yet a parent, you can still begin to develop these characteristics.
Let's see what the characteristics of Mary, a model parent were.
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CHARACTER - Luke 1:26-28
Please do not think that the mother of our Lord was just another "pretty
face". Although she was a sinner just like us, she was certainly a woman of
character.
Luke 1:26-28 - "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God
unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, To a virgin espoused to a man whose
name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary. And
the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured,
the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women."
Highly favored means "full of grace". Grace is "unmerited favor".
A person receives grace when they trust Christ as Savior.
Romans 3:24 - "Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption
that is in Christ Jesus:"
Romans 3:28 - "Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith
without the deeds of the law."
Mary was obviously a saved individual, trusting in the grace of God and not
her own righteousness. The end result, the Lord was with her!
John 1:12 - "But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become
the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:"
Don't expect to have the right kind of character for child raising unless
you have resolved the salvation issue. The Lord is truly with you if you
have trusted Christ as Savior. There is no greater character trait than
being a born again Christian.
When the Angel, Gabriel, met Mary he explained that she would become the
mother of God's promised Messiah. It would be accomplished by the work of
the Holy Spirit. It would be a virgin birth. Mary's response to this promise
is found in Luke 1:38.
"And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to
thy word. And the angel departed from her."
Another indication that Mary was a woman of character is her faith or trust
in God. Zecharias, the priest, doubted when he was told of the birth of John
the Baptist. Mary, however, believed what she was told about the birth of
her son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Character, what you are, is more important than
Your social status
Your economic status
Your words
Your actions,
Your accomplishments.
In fact, your character will dictate your words, your actions, your
accomplishments. And your character will often be copied by your children.
How many times have we said, "He is just like his mother"?
How many times have we said, "He is just like his father"?
My Mom and Dad have never been rich. But my Dad and mom gave me a greater
gift than all the money in the world. They gave me the gift of modeling good
character to my brothers, my sister and me.
Remember, we can't help our children develop character unless we have it
ourselves and share it with our kids.
Dr. Fred Grieve - "In times like these it is our task to build into
America's children what psychologists call 'internalized systems'. This
capacity for self-discipline is called character: The building of character
is a life-long process: It is built at the mother's knee, and sometimes,
over the mother's knee.
Mary was a woman of character.
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COURAGE - Luke 1:30-38
READ THE TEXT
In these verses Mary finds out that she is going to become the mother of her
Messiah, her Savior.
But, there are some problems.
Because she is legally engaged to Joseph,
Because they were considered married, although they had not yet consummated
the marriage, her becoming pregnant would produce some serious difficulties.
She would be accused of being an adulteress!
When it was discovered, she could be divorced or even executed for what
would have been perceived as unfaithfulness.
Can you imagine Mary trying to tell the religious leaders of her day that
she was pregnant by God's Holy Spirit? They would not have believed her!
They might have stoned her for what they would have considered her claim to
be blasphemy.
So, here's Mary, who not only shows her faith when she says "Be it unto me
according to thy word", but also shows the courage of someone who would
believe God, no matter what the consequences!
No matter what the accusations
No matter what the whispers
No matter what Joseph would say or do
No matter what the consequences - "Be it unto me according to thy word."
As you know, God was in this situation, and everything turned out just fine.
God explained to Joseph was happening, and Joseph married her.
Today we need women and men who will be parents of courage.
Courage to require their children to do what is right.
Courage to require their children to show respect to adults.
Courage to require of children that they go to church, Sunday School, and
youth group, because it is what they need.
Courage to set standards - For bed times, meal times, get up times,
politeness and morality.
Courage is needed because
Children will badger
Children will complain
Children will resist
Children will need correction.
Proverbs 22:15 - "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod
of correction shall drive it far from him."
It will seem easier to give in than to face the pain and hassle of raising
children properly.
I personally guarantee that proper parental guidance will reap rewards. For
the most part, if you have had the courage to do what was right by your
children, your children will return to say "thank you".
The greatest reward of all is Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way
he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Mary was a woman of courage.
Mary was a woman of character.
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONTEMPLATION Luke 2:19, 41-52
Jesus was born in Bethlehem. The shepherds came to see the child, and told
of the appearance of Angels on the hillside. Luke 2:19 tells us that Mary
kept these sayings, and pondered them in her heart. Mary remembered the
things said, and mulled over them in her mind.
Mary's contemplation showed Mary's desire to understand.
Luke 2:41-52 tells the story of the twelve-year old boy Jesus.
He went to the one of the feasts in Jerusalem with his parents. His parents
assume that Jesus is with them when they head back home to Nazareth.
Instead, he was back at the temple hearing the doctors of the law, and
asking them questions.
Vs. 48 - Mary reprimands her son by saying "Son, why hast thou thus dealt
with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing."
Vs. 49 - Jesus' answer was classic, "How is it that ye sought me? wist ye
not that I must be about my Father's business?"
Luke 2:50-51 - "And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them.
And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them:
but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart."
Mary did not understand immediately. But the fact that she kept these things
in her heart, indicate that she was trying to understand. She was
contemplating.
Contemplation is very important. As you observe your children and your
grandchildren, you should try to remember the events of their lives and
piece them together, so you can understand the child. This will help you to
not make the mistake of thinking that a younger child should be just like
his or her older brother or sister.
My mother understood when I wanted my driver's license, and Dad was
hesitant. Thanks to Mom, I got my driver's license.
It was my Dad who understood when I wanted to use the car on a Saturday
night, not my Mom. Because Dad understood, I got to use the car.
There will be times, Mom and Dad, when the whole world will seem to be
coming in on your child. Try to listen, let them know you care, and try to
understand without pressing. You can be a great help to your child.
Sometimes all a child needs to know is that Mom and dad are available. My
Mom was always available to listen while she ironed or washed dishes.
One day my brother Don's best friend lost an arm in an automobile accident.
Don was devastated. Dad was available for Don. Took him to the golf driving
range, just to give him a chance to vent and to talk if he wanted.
Take the time to contemplate your child's life. Strive to understand. The
dividends are terrific!
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONTEMPLATION
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COURAGE
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CHARACTER
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONFIDENCE - John 2:1-5
Close to understanding comes the idea of having confidence, or believing in
someone.
We need someone to believe in us!
We need someone who is convinced that we are competent and know what we are
doing. Our daughter, Donna, has expressed appreciation for the confidence
that we have placed in her!
John 2:1-5 takes place at a wedding. There was a need for wine. And
obviously, Mary knew that her Son could solve the problem.
In verse 5 she shows her confidence in her Son by saying "Whatsoever he
saith unto you, do it." Of course these were very wise words. Our Lord
miraculously supplied enough wine in order to take care of the need.
Many a parent in this world today does not build confidence in their
children.
Some parents criticize and/or correct constantly without positive
compliments. The children think they can't do anything right.
Some parents consistently call their children names, demeaning them
continually.
Some parents continually embarrass their children.
Some parents will not trust their children. My Dad had a philosophy that I
adopted. "I will trust you until you prove you can't be trusted". That
worked on Dad's kids, and mine!
BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILDREN!
Be convinced that they are capable of achieving. They will not achieve in
every area of endeavor. Nobody is perfect. But help your child find fields
where they are competent and can be successful.
Be your child's greatest fan! Don't make them think they are better than
they are, but let them know realistically how competent they are!
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONTEMPLATION
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COURAGE
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CHARACTER
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONFIDENCE - John 2:1-5
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COMMITMENT - John 19:25
Now we come to the saddest moment in the life of Mary at the cross.
Her son was crucified as a major criminal.
He had been falsely accused and convicted!
John 19:25 - Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother...
When the shame of the cross came, Mary was still committed to her Son.
When the agony of suffering came, Mary was still committed to her Son.
Parenthood is a lifetime job.
Even when the children leave the nest, there is still to be commitment. I've
known parents who have wanted to give up when things don't go well, when
their children start to falter, when they start to go away for the Lord. But
a lifetime of parenting requires follow-through!
"A newsman of the Chicago Daily Times saw a story when he read this
advertisement: "$5,000 reward for whoever can help me find the murderer of
Officer __________________. The reporter located the advertiser, an old
woman living alone in a poor house.
"The story was that her son Joe was in prison for life, accused of killing a
police officer. But where did she get the reward money? From scrubbing
floors. For 11 years, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, 3,500 nights, miles of
floor, years of backache.
"The reporter went and dug up the facts which proved that Tillie's son was
not at the scene of the crime. The Supreme Court reopened the case, and
Tillie's son was set free."
Here was a mother committed to her son.
Let us, parents, follow the example of Mary.
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CHARACTER
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COURAGE
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONTEMPLATION
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF CONFIDENCE
MARY WAS A WOMAN OF COMMITMENT
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