This sermon is for those who are married, those who want to be married and for people who are sorry they are married. There are 3 stages to marriage. Lust, rust and dust. You figure out which stage you are in. A man and woman get married and become one and then they go on the honeymoon and find out which one.
Psychologist state that girls tend to marry boys who are like their fathers and I think that is why mothers cry at weddings. This sermon today is about a gracious and beautiful woman, Abigail who married Nabal. His name means fool. He is a stubborn man. He is an arrogant man. He is right about everything all the time. Have you ever met anyone like that? Don't raise your hand, I'm just asking you.
A wife and husband were on vacation and got lost and had a fierce argument. Has that ever happened to you? After driving for several hours with neither one of them speaking they passed a mule in a field and the husband looked at his wife and said, "Is that a relative of yours?" She said, "Yes, by marriage."
Nabal was a mule headed man. A drunkard and he was rich. Abigail was a beautiful and gracious woman and the Bible says, "Of great understanding". This is the Old Testament story of the beauty and the beast. Stay tuned, you don't want to miss it I assure you. I-Samuel 25:3, read with me, "The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was rough and evil in his doings. And he was a Calebite." (1 Sam 25:3)
Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus, let us glean from the Word of God the trues that can change our lives, our homes and our marriages forever, in Jesus name, Amen. And all of God's children said, "Praise the Lord".
Marriages are made in heaven, but then so are thunder and lightning. Getting married is easy, it is living together that's so tough. In biblical times a woman had very little choice as to whom she married. Her marriage was arranged by her parents and she had less say if the man were wealthy, such as Nabal. It was a sad and painful marriage for Abigail. Because wealth, power, social position do not hold back the knife of misery and unhappiness, when a woman is married to a mule headed man like Nabal.
Here's the story. It was sheep shearing time in the land of Israel and Nabal had 3,000 sheep to shear. This made him a John Rockafellow of the Old Testament. Everywhere the ground was white. Not with snow but with the wool of Nabal's sheep. It was a time of joy. It was a time of labor. It was a time of singing, a time of eating, a time of dancing. It was a time of giving of gifts and celebration, such as our Thanksgiving.
The news spread that Nabal was shearing 3,000 sheep. David was fleeing from Saul and was in that area with his 600 men. David's men heard that Nabal was shearing his sheep. David remembered that every valley and every hill that they had climbed was covered with Nabal's sheep. They had never eaten one of those sheep. David had even protected Nabal's sheep from the invaders. Nabal was indeed in David's debt.
It was customary in the sheep shearing season, that the man whose sheep was being sheared would give tokens of appreciation to his neighbors who had helped him with his sheep during the past year. And certainly David had helped Nabal and Nabal was greatly in debt to David.
So David's young soldiers went to Nabal and ask for some of the sheep to eat, which should have been just a formality and Nabal, the fool, living up to his name, gave an angry insult, and it is recorded in the Word of God thusly, he said, "who is David, the son of Jesse". He insulted his family, because he KNEW who he was.
David's men heard all that Nabal said and they returned to David and told him and David went into a rage and David told his men "we are going to march to the camp of Nabal and before the sun sets tonight I'm going to kill him and every member of his family. And so they started to march to Nabal's camp. But there is another procession headed by beautiful Abigail. She had heard of her husband's insult to David. She knew that David was coming and David was a giant killer who was not going to put up with this mule headed wimp.
A lesser woman would have tried to save herself, but not Abigail. She gathered her servants and told them to load the animals with presents for David's men, plus, put plenty of food on the backs of those animals.
Now we have the story of 2 caravans that are on a collision course. One is coming in rage to seek death and revenge. The other is coming as a peace maker to spare the life of an empty headed fool, who happens to be her husband. At the crest of the hill the 2 processions meet and Abigail dismounts. She walked over to where David was and knelt before him and she made one of the most eloquent speeches ever recorded. She said, "Upon me my lord. Upon me let this iniquity be charged."
She was willing to take full blame, even though she had nothing to do with it. She went on to make a long passionate persuasive speech. David's rage melted with Abigail's soft answer. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath." So they ate the food and open the gifts and David blessed Abigail for her statesmanship that stayed a blood bath.
The next day when Nabal was sober, Abigail told him what he had done. And when he heard it, either out of anger or out of fear he had a stroke and died. A few days later David married Abigail and she became the queen of Israel. From the wife of a mule headed fool, to the queen of Israel. Now that's quite a promotion.
What's the message of this story? Don't ever give up on your marriage. You say, "Pastor Ferry, my husband is a drunk." So was Nabal. "Pastor Ferry, my husband is a fool." So was Nabal. "Pastor Ferry, I have given up hope." So had Abigail. But the Bible says "Nothing is impossible with God".
Abigail wanted her marriage to work. Do you? She risk her life going to David to plead for the life of the fool she was married to. What at you willing to sacrifice to make your marriage work? Your ego. Your pride. Abigail was willing to take the blame for something she had nothing to do with.
Good marriages are not built on emotions, they are built on the principles of God. The Bible says, "Except the Lord build a house, they labor in vain that build it." Get your marriage advice for the Word of God. This is the truth (Bible). Jesus said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing." I don't care what your counselor says. Paul said, "Commit yourself, one to the other in the fear of God" If every marriage in America would do that today, the marriage counseling business would die.
The road to marital happiness begins when you accept your God ordained differences. Listen to this. Before marriage opposites attract, after marriage, opposites irritate.
In the text the Bible says that Abigail was a woman of good understanding. The greatest problems in marriages is the inability to understand the differences between husband and wife. Refusing to understand that God ordained differences between men and women. In the beginning God created two sexes, man and woman. It was Adam and Eve not Adam and Bruce, Mr. President. Our generation is trying to change God's plan. The latest thing in men's clothing is women.
Ephesians 4:29 says, "let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth." The Bible says, "the power of life and death is in the tongue."
Briefly and in closing. Seven things that are required to make your life and your marriage happy and successful. First Forgive and forget the past. The Bible says "Forgive us as we forgive those" The fact is if you won't forgive another, God cannot forgive you. Forgiveness is not optional. Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and unlocks the handcuffs of hatred. Forgiveness is a full pardon. Forgiveness is a fresh start. Forgiveness is another chance. Forgiveness is a new beginning.
Sooner or later you or your partner will fail and your willingness to forgive guarantees that your marriage will survive. Sooner or later one of you will have to forgive the other one and when you do the blessing of God will bring you together with a newness and a power you have never known before.
Secondly, the husband is the spiritual leader of the home. Father, if you do not know how to impart the blessing of God upon your children, you need to dig into the Word of God till you know how to release the power of God into the life of your child.
Number 3. Wife be submitted to your own husband. Quit trotting all over town trying to get advice from every Tom, Dick and Harry about your troubled marriage. Go home and talk to your husband about it. He's the other side of the equation. Abigail did and her husband had a stroke and died. Don't be afraid to tell the truth.
Eph. 6:1 gives the 4th clue to a Bible requirement for a successful family marriage. It says, "Children, obey your parents, this is right. Honor your mother and father which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with you and that you may live long upon the earth."
A home that is filled with snotty nose brats, telling their parents where to get off is the suburbs of hell. Parents, you are the leader in your house and you need to do it without apology. The solution to the gang problem in America is a father in the house who rules the house by the Word of God and not by Dr. Spock. No federal program will ever replace a father.
Rule #5. Communicate. The Bible says, "It is not good for a man to be alone. You can be married and be alone. It is possible to live in a house with a person and be alone. Communication is to your marriage what blood is to the body. When it stops flowing, your marriage dies. Mister, communication is not out yelling your wife.
Lady, communication is not controlling and manipulating your husband. Communication is when I am able to tell you what I feel, what I believe, what I think, what I fear, without thinking you are going to retaliate and belittle me for what I think and what I feel.
Rule #6. Sexual freedom. Your body is not your own. I-Cor. 7:4 says, "the wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband. And likewise, the husband hath not power over his body, but the wife." Many manipulate their partners with a sexual act. It should never be. The Bible calls that witchcraft. And it simply says, "Hubby, if you'll do what I want, when I want, the bedroom will be exciting tonight and if you don't it's going to be cold for a long time."
That's witchcraft. That's manipulation. It has no place in the life of a believer.
Lastly and 7th. Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. If every husband in America loved his wife as Christ loved the church the feminist movement would die in a month. Paul said, "Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself." That's what is needed.
Can we stand and bow our heads in the presence of the Lord.
Lord Jesus Christ, Giver of life, the author and finisher of every marriage. I ask you Lord if You would right now begin to move in this congregation and heal every fractured relationship. May Your Holy Spirit show us an Abigail, what all of us must have to live in homes that will be considered the days of heaven on earth. In Jesus name. Amen.
We must consider the fact that Christ must be in the marriage if true joy is ever going to be present. Today, if you do not know Christ as Savior, would you do so that His joy might be a part of your marriage. (close)
